Basically, you are answering the question of: Why do you want to get to know her as a person? If the only reason you have is, “I like your pictures,” I would suggest not writing to her. The more personal this is and the more it draws from what she says about herself, the better. Communicate what about her profile drew you in and why it interested you.Part of the message should focus upon her: By extension, if she doesn’t state a way that she would like to be addressed, do not address her by a title. If her profile tells you how to address her, address her that way. If she has a code word hidden in it to put as the subject line, do that. If these are not your strong suits, type your message up in Word (or something similar) first. Use proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation.Be polite and respectful (without coming off as sycophantic, groveling, or overly fawning).if she says she will only meet you at a local munch, be ready and willing to attend that munch if you wish to be taken seriously. Make sure you are willing to meet her stipulations.If she is not what you are looking for, do not write to her. If you are not what she is looking for, do not write to her. This includes from a personal standpoint, age, location, commonality of what you are looking for in a relationship, and kink compatibility. Evaluate whether or not the two of you are a good fit.Make note of any questions you might have about things that are not listed or unclear. casual play partner.īefore you write your message, you should have done the following with her profile: You should be clear about what you are looking for in the long-run: a serious long-term relationship vs.Make sure it says something about you and is not just a kink checklist. Your written profile should not be blank.Faceless ab pics or other faceless muscle shots that may imply you want someone to choose you for your body are better left for secondary/alternate pictures. Your profile pic should not have a penis in it.tittyfucker69 will draw the wrong kind of attention. Your username should not be anything crass.
This type pretty much feels like, “I am searching for my personal fetish dispenser.” I don’t think I need to really elaborate upon why this rarely works.īefore you write your message, you should have the following things in order on your own profile: Activity I like #5 displayed as a “you should do this to me” statement.Activity I like #4 displayed as a “you should do this to me” statement.Activity I like #3 displayed as a “you should do this to me” statement.Activity I like #2 displayed as a “you should do this to me” statement.Activity I like #1 displayed as a “you should do this to me” statement.Here are the ways you should dominate me: These messages rarely get answered, but an appropriate response might be, “why?” Unfortunately, it isn’t about what actually went into it, it is about what she perceives went into it. I realize that some people may have put in genuine thought, gotten freaked out, and that is what the end result was. This type reeks of low effort copy/paste in an, “I just sent this same message to 40 other Dommes,” way. Unfortunately, the most common messages these Dommes have been facing have been of two primary types. In my experiences, I have usually spent hours agonizing about how to craft the perfect message but the end result has generally been rather positive. There is that perfect balance of saying enough but not saying too much, showing interest without being smothering, asking about them without being prying, and so on. Having been in the position of writing a first message to a Domme, I understand that it can be absolutely terrifying. I felt like writing today, so here comes a post on the subject. A couple of local Dommes I am helping mentor are actively seeking subs but they have been continuously bombarded with generic or poor messages from prospective subs.